25 Action Steps to Build High Self-Esteem
Understanding Self-Esteem
Cambridge Dictionary defines self-esteem as belief and confidence in one’s own ability and value.
It can be high, low, or somewhere in-between. Some people think of self-esteem as their inner voice that tells them whether they’re good enough to do or achieve something. It’s actually about who we are and what we’re capable of – how we value ourselves.
People with good self-esteem feel positive about themselves, and about life. This makes them much more resilient, and better able to cope with life’s ups and downs. But having high-self esteem is a good thing only in moderation.
Having very high self-esteem (as seen in narcissists) is also not good. Such people might feel amazing about themselves almost all the time, but they also tend to be extremely vulnerable to negative feedback and criticism.
Those with low self-esteem, however, are often much more critical of themselves. They find it harder to bounce back from challenges and setbacks, therefore they tend to avoid difficult situations, which in return decrease their self-esteem even further. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle.
Under-valuing ourselves is the main reason why we are unable to utilize our best potential, abilities, strengths, and skills.
If we want to reach our fullest potential, we must subconsciously feel worthy, valuable and have reasons to feel proud of ourselves. We need to build high self-esteem.
25 Actionable Steps to Build High Self-Esteem
1. Take responsibility for everything in your life – win the war within – own yourself and your actions – like Navy SEAL Jocko Willink would say:
Take extreme ownership of everything that impacts your life.
2. Practice discipline daily in all important areas of your life
3. Always give your best, your 100%
4. Do the right thing even if it’s the hardest thing to do
5. List all achievements so far (no matter how big or small)
6. Celebrate small victories
7. Learn daily – knowledge is one of the most important resources you possess (you can take it everywhere and no one can ever take it from you)
8. Like you update new software on a phone or computer, you need to update and upgrade yourself consistently. If necessary, reinvent yourself to stay competitive.
9. Compete and compare only with yourself (stop comparing with others)
10. Polish your social skills and refine your communication skills (+ eliminate negative self-talk)
11. Listen actively and stay silent if you have nothing smart to say
12. Accept your faults, failures, mistakes, and not knowing something gracefully
13. Always support and help those in a worse situation than you
14. Let go of the urge to be smartest, richest, and most popular in the room
15. Manage your time, attention, and energy – they are one of your most precious resources
16. Improve your physical health – it needs to be your top priority
17. Develop thick skin – don’t bother what others think or say about you
18. Become comfortable with who you are, despite all the problems you have – remember nobody’s perfect
19. Always go the extra mile in everything you do
20. Challenge your assumptions
21. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself
22. Surround yourself with people who are better and smarter than you (you are the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time with)
23. Become an action person rather than a talk-person
24. Add value
25. Live a meaningful life
Which Wolf Will You Feed?
An old Cherokee Indian chief was teaching his grandson about life.
He said, "A fight is going on inside me”, he told the young boy, "a fight between two wolves.”
The Dark one is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The Light Wolf is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
The same fight is going on inside you grandson…and inside of every other person on the face of this earth.
The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asked, "Grandfather, which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee smiled and simply said, "The one you feed".
Small Steps
It’s unlikely you will go from low to good self-esteem overnight. It’s a process. And not fast, or an easy one either. Make small improvements daily, practice the above steps, and with time change will come.
When you do something good, celebrate, and if nothing goes according to plan, don’t beat yourself. Mistakes and failure will happen – without them no one can succeed. Occasionally you will slip back into negative thinking, and that’s okay. Take some time, reorganize your thoughts, and embrace the new day with positivity, gratitude, and strength.
Eventually, this will become a habit and your self-esteem will get better.
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Remember: When it comes to self-esteem, only one opinion truly matters — your own. And even that one should be carefully evaluated; we tend to be our own harshest critics.
The best you is the real you.
Tell me – which wolf have you been feeding lately?
Cheers!
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